With Valentines day just around the corner Big Bad Wolf thought to make this Valentines a Valentines for everyone. I know for many of you it is a commercial money making scheme ( FYI you are a miserable sod) but for others it’s a special day to do nothing but think about the ones you love and who love you back ( here’s hoping). Valentines day is not just for the loved-up amongst us as there’re things to do for all you single folks. Whether you are looking for someone, getting over someone or just want a big night out ( hoping it ends with someone: NO judgement here) go find your category and take a few notes on what to do this fine Valentines day.
The ‘I-fucking-hate-them-they’re-so-perfect-I-used-to-be-them’ Couple
We all know them, we’re all jealous of them…But they are the beacon of hope for all us singletons ( or nightmare for all us commitment phobes). No matter how long they have been together, Valentines day is THEIR day and they go all out for it. The novelty of their relationship is still sparkling and new and the bright side of me wants and hopes that they stay that way ( yet my cynicism tells me otherwise). Anyway…Here is a list of quaint, intimate restaurants or adventures to book for now.
This Northcliff-based boutique hotel and chef-run restaurant is the perfect place for you and your love. Getting lost in their expansive gardens, kissing under the stars and gorging on their fine-dining…it doesn’t get more romantic than this.
Book now: 011 476 9495
If you want to do Valentines day, do it properly. Clico Boutique Hotel, found in the leafy suburbs of Rosebank is offering a fine-dining style, five course menu ( don’t expect to get lucky after eating that much though). Booking is essential on 011 252 3300 or at email@example.com.
- Bill Harrops Original Balloon Safari.
It’s a bitch to wake up at 3am in the morning but the fabulous team at the Bill Harrops Original Balloon Safari make it all worthwhile, especially with a glass of champers on Arrival. Having experienced this adventure first hand I can say without a doubt this was the most romantic adventure I had ever been on. Book now!
- Dlala Nje Valentines special
Instead of doing the cheesy romantic flowers and chocolate why not spice things up by joining the Dlala Nje team adventuring through the inner city with the person you most love. The Adventure will start with rooftop-sundowners overlooking our magical city to the beats of a local Marimba band and choir. There will then be a three course meal. An infusion of ingredients from across the continent. A perfect date night for those who want something a little more unique. It is extremely limited, so be sure to book now!
The ‘I-didn’t-even-know-it-was-valentines-day’ Couple
Most parents ( including my own), busy businessmen and women, newly parentaled couples and the socially-networking-incompetent of us fall into this category. They just don’t understand the beauty of a day completely, utterly and commercially based in love. For these couples I know a sweat of panic usually arrises the night before as no plans or gifts are to be expected. Why not surprise your partner and actually do something unique and fun in advance? 2016 was stressful enough, lets not make the same mistake this year. Plan ahead with these quick and easy Valentines day idea’s.
- Thanks to our dear friends at Netflorist Valentines day cannot get any easier. A quick search on their website and before you even had a chance to pick your nose you’ll have the perfect gift delivered to your door. We are forever in Netflorist’s favour.
- If you have really screwed up royally, a simple gesture such as getting your significant others favourite wine and chocolate after work can make the night that much more sexy.
- Or perhaps suck it up and watch their all time favourite Romcom.
The most endearing category of them all. Most of my friends fall into this category…actually so do I. I know the struggle ( I’m a blogger for goodness sakes, I literally get payed in clothes- and thats only sometimes). Even though Valentines day has turned the pureness of love into a money-making scheme here are a few suggestions that will restore your faith in this day.
- A mere R80 per person can get you a beautiful day spent at Johannesburg’s historical Zoo. Become a kid again with the excitement of seeing the big 5 while walking through the beautiful avenues. Take a bottle of champers, some cheap chocolate ( as we all know those are the best) and there you have it… the perfect Valentines Day.
- If the Zoo doesn’t tickle your fancy how about a visit to the breath-taking Walter-Sisulu Botanical Gardens? Take pride in South Africa’s indigenous plants and animals while marvelling at the gardens centre piece- the famous waterfall. Pack a small picnic and you’re guaranteed some sexy time… no need to wait to get home, there are many a bush you can hide behind.
- Movies in the park. Lay out your delicious picnic spread and enjoy some of the best Romantic Comedies the world has to offer under the South African skies. Follow the link and book now!
Got to love the people who fall into this category. So much energy, so much hope, so much drinking! For many of you this is just another excuse to party hard and find that Mister-right-for-right-now. Here are a bunch of bars to head to this Valentines Day.
- Hells Kitchen… We’ve all got our eye on that one crusty-AF guy at our local watering hole. It’s Valentines day and if you can’t approach him now, then when can you hey? ( Direct quote from love actually). Buy him a shot of Hell fire Whiskey and you’re in there!
- Tigers Milk. There are certainly some yummy humans to be found here. Everything from the IT geek to the sports jock… ladies have your pick.
- For the more classy and elegant among us, head over to Marble and grab yourself a sugar-daddy for the night. The best part of this, you get to dress up! So dust off your favourite LBD and get those calves ready for a night out in your finest heels.
- Get your ratchet self up and ready to paint the town read. Head on over to Kitcheners or Great Danes for a night of dancing, flirting and just getting down to the best local Dj’s Jozi has to offer.
- The Living Room in Maboneng is always a favourite destination for some sundowners and a view of the city. Hopefully there will be some better views than the city if you know what I mean.
Fuck trying, I’m done trying! Mingling just ain’t my thing. Lets be authentically moody and grumpy all day while getting totally waisted on Paul’s Homemade Ice cream, a bottle of your favourite wine and watching every movie there is that makes you feel better about being single. Here is a list of those very movies that may forever dampen the hope of the happily-ever-after.
- Paul Home-made cream – Birthday cake flavour ( Check )
- Haute Cabriere pinot noir ( Check)
- Films: Closer (Jude Law and Clive Owen: Heart palpitations) ; Ghost World (” I think only stupid people have good relationships”) ; The First Wives Club ( Goldie Hawn, Bette Midler and Diane Keaton…need I say more) ; Waiting to Exhale ( The Queen of all Queens, Miss Angela Basset) ; Gone Girl ( This one’s for the men) ; Blue Valentine ( Though it may traumatise you forever ); Amelie ( Because who doesn’t want to watch the cuteness that is Audrey Tautou); Eternal Sunshine for the spotless mind ( My hero- Kate Winslet)
There is certainly enough films on this list to keep you miserable all day and if not, give Big Bad Wolf a shout as I too will becoming one with the couch this Valentines day.
Happy Valentines day to all you suckers <3